


You're All I Have Left - On Hiatus until further notice

by Melanie_Mikaelson



Category: The Shannara Chronicles (TV)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Allander, Allanon/Ander, Alternate Universe, Depression, Developing Relationship, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Happy Ending, Kidnapping, M/M, Mentions of King Eventine, Nightmares, Rape Aftermath, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sexual Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, mentions of Amberle, mentions of Arion
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-07
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-05-25 07:22:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6185740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melanie_Mikaelson/pseuds/Melanie_Mikaelson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the battle of the Four Worlds against the Demon Army, it seems as though King Ander has lost everything and everyone he holds dearest to him. </p><p>He falls into a descending depression that is slowly swallowing him whole, but he comes out on the other side with someone he believes he can trust to keep his heart safe. Allanon.</p><p>This story follows the journey of Ander Elessedil trying to recover from his losses with the help of Allanon, who can't deny that he wouldn't give his life for the young King. </p><p>It seems there's a new threat entering the equation; something is coming for the last living Elessidil and this new threat will stop at nothing until Ander is either in their grasp for their pleasure or the young king to be no longer amongst the living. </p><p>How far will Allanon go to protect the one he loves, and will Ander make it out on the other side or will he give up on everything.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is the new edited version of this chapter, hope you guys like it better :)
> 
> Set after 1x10.

Ander doesn't know how long he's been sitting on the balcony staring across the elven land at the Ellcrys. It was this very tree that had taken almost everyone he held dearest to his heart away from him, his father, Arion, Diana and more recently his beautiful niece Amberle; even Aine his older brother was dead. 

Ander had no one left in these four worlds that loved him for who he was. Sure the elven community loves him but that was just because he was now their king, before all this drama he was nothing but the drunken, party animal and immature, youngest son of the king.

Ander feels something wet running down his cheek; he brings his hand up to wipe away the moisture, it was then that he realised was crying. Those few fallen tears soon turn into chest wracking sobs of heart-wrenching pain for everyone he lost. Ander hugs his knees tightly to his chest resting his head between his legs to hide his face. From whom, he didn't know.

Ander reminisced the day when he waited alongside his father, brother and the elven council, waiting to see if it was Amberle who would walk into the sanctuary as one of the chosen. 

Ander remembers the swell of happiness as Amberle got escorted in, and her blindfold got removed. The look of pure joy on her beautiful face that looked so much like her mother as she smiled at him. He had been so proud of her. 

But that was also the same day everything went utterly and entirely wrong.

Ander slowly stands up and creeps his way towards his chamber, making sure not to get spotted by any of the elven guards. The last thing he wanted right now was someone trying to talk to him or to see the state he was currently. 

At last, he makes it safely to his chambers. Locking the door behind himself he makes his way to the hidden compartment in his fireplace where he had hidden a stash of harsh alcohol.

Ander pulls out one of the most potent bottles he owns, shuffling over to his overly large window he sits down on the bench, that out looks the vast land of the four worlds. 

Everything looks so alive and happy, while he felt the complete opposite of that. Ander felt dead and empty inside. Sighing, he unscrews the lid off the bottle and takes a large gulp. The liquid burns as it makes its way down his throat. Right now Ander can't care less; he welcomes the pain. He needs this.

He's been sitting at the bench drinking and crying for about an hour now. Ander was so out of it that he doesn't hear the little the rattle of his door being pick locked, nor his door getting pushed opened before shutting behind the footsteps that were making their way over towards him.

Allanon can't help the small frown that forms when he looks at the sight before him. The young, newly king before him was in an unbelievable amount of pain and was trying to drink it away while his body continued to rack with sobs.

Allanon leans over and grasps the bottle when Ander goes to bring it to his lips. He can't help but notice Ander's lips that were wet and red from Ander biting them. They looked downright soft and kissable-. 

Allanon quickly shakes his head to put a stop to that train of thought. He shouldn't be thinking along the lines of those things at a horrible time like this.

Ander jumps as a hand enters his vision and takes the bottle of alcohol out of his shaking hands. Ander's eyes quickly albeit sluggishly follow the hand up to the owners face. 

Allanon. It was Allanon who was standing in his room and holding the one thing he needs more than anything right now in his tight grasp. 

"H-how did you get in h-here, and g-give me that b-back" his speech comes out slurred in between small hiccups from the excessive amount of alcohol he has consumed.

Allanon sighs as he takes in the young king's face. Bright red-rimmed blue eyes stood out against tear streaked cheeks, ruffled hair, and those goddamn lips. 

Ander looks like a mess, but that was understandable, he's just lost his whole family and potential lover in a short period. 

"I'm a druid and a couple of centuries old if you haven't forgotten, and I'm here to check on you" Allanon coos.

Ander glares at Allanon "G-go away, I'm fine" he snaps but as of the moment, there was no venom lacing the words. Just a pleading tone as he snatches the bottle back and takes another gulp. 

Allanon shakes his head "I can't stand by and let you drink yourself into a stupor; you're King now and with that title comes responsibilities. Sitting around moping is not what your father would want" it was harsh, but it was the truth.

At these words, Ander's face grows hot with anger. Ander stands up too quickly and sways slightly before poking an accusing finger into Allanon's chest.

"I didn't want t-this! I did not wish to be king of Arborlorn!" Ander yells, throwing the bottle across the room. It hits the wall and smashes, sending shards of glass and liquid everywhere. 

"Arion was heir to the throne, and that got taken from him, his life ripped from him just like fathers, Aine, Diana, and Am-Amberle" he chokes out, voice getting even more broken with every word until he finally explodes.

Ander turns around and starts throwing things off his draws, pushing them over onto the marble floor and destroying everything in his path until his room was a mess of debris. 

He collapses on his knees and is left a broken sobbing mess on the floor surrounded by broken shards of glass and other debris.

Allanon can't stop the pain that fills his chest, squeezing his heart painfully as he witnesses the aftermath of the war, bear down on Ander's shoulders. 

Allanon kneels down in front of Ander pulling him into a soft and warm embrace. Ander fights against the hold at first, slamming his hands into Allanon's hard chest. Crying out begging for Allanon to let him go and leave him by himself. 

Allanon ignores the pain of Ander's hits. After a while, Ander finally stops and all but collapses into his embrace, head buried into his neck as the young man wails and mumbles words over and over again against his neck.

At first, he can't decipher what was said. But after he does, he wishes he hadn't. This brave young man, who has endured so much pain and heartache, was quietly begging for death. 

"P-please, please just k-k-kill me" Ander murmurs over and over again as his body quivers and quakes with every word. Allanon holds him tighter in his arms and presses a soft kiss against his soft hair. 

"I could never, ever do that, not in a million years. Please don't say those sought of things Ander, you are loved by many and the elven race is counting on you" he consoles softly in Ander's ear.

"I have no one left, they d-don't need me. I'm w-worthless" Ander chokes out, hot tears streaming down his cheeks and falling onto Allanon's neck. 

"You're wrong Ander. They need you. You'll come to see this Ander; I promise" Allanon states. After a while, Ander falls still in in Allanon's arms, soft even breaths tickling his neck. 

Allanon carefully picks Ander up, cradling him against his chest as he makes his way over to lay the young king who has snuggled up against his chest to get closer to the warmth emanating from the druids body.

Allanon softly lays him under the blankets of his bed. After Allanon has carefully tucked the king in, he leans down and presses a soft kiss upon the frowning forehead of the young elf.

Smoothing the frown away with his thumb "I need you, more than you could know" Allanon whispers against warm skin. Allanon pulls back and takes one last look at the sleeping elf before sighing and moving to pick up a chair to sit down.

Allanon picks up a fallen book to read as he settles in for the night to watch over the sleeping form.

Ander slowly begins to wake up due to the sunlight pouring in from the window, blinking sluggishly he pries his eyes open, letting his eyes adjust to mornings sunlight.

Ander tries to remember how he got into bed. The last thing he remembers was sitting at the window with a bottle of the potent stuff, trying to drown his sorrows away and then…oh.

It all comes flooding back to him as he takes in the state his bedchamber. The drinking and crying, Allanon coming in, yelling at Allanon, throwing the bottle at the wall, destroying his room, sinking to his knees, words exchanged.

Allanon, holding him tightly as he cried himself to sleep.

A soft blush rose up his neck to his ears as he remembers how amazing and right it felt to be held by Allanon. 

Sighing softly, Ander slowly pulls himself into a sitting position, careful not to jostle his head too much. That was one of the consequences of drinking; it had taken its toll in the form of a raging headache.

Ander blushes when he finally spots the slumped form asleep in an armchair in the corner of his ruined room. Allanon had stayed to make sure he was okay. This thought causes his stomach to flutter softly.

Ander slowly gets out of bed and makes his way around the glass shards and other broken debris on the ground. Ander makes his way towards the bathroom to take a bath to clean himself up and to do his teeth. 

After preparing the water to the right temperature, he shuts the door half way and strips off his clothes until he was bare.

He slowly climbs in the bath and slides down until his chest up was the only thing uncovered by the water. 

Pulling his knees up to his chest to rest his chin on top of them; he thought about the family he'd lost, the responsibilities of being a king, watching his brother come back as a demon only to kill Diana and then to have Arion in his arms begging for death.

Ander's whole families blood was on his hands. Aine had died because he was stupid, drunk and reckless. Amberle was brought into this mess because he trained her to become one of the chosen. His father Evantine died because he couldn't protect him.

Arion was dead, Then turned demon only to be killed again because he didn't listen and tried to attack the Dagda Mor without a plan. And his brother paid the price.

By extension, Diana's death was his fault too because he'd gotten his brother killed.

The tears began to fall again. So many elves had died, and all their blood was on Ander's hands. Ander started to feel sick with himself. Tears were burning his eyes as they made their way down his cheeks and into the water.

Ander closes his eyes as he slides into the water. After about thirty seconds of being under the water, he breaches the surface of the water. 

Ander opens his eyes and automatically wishes he hadn't. His breath catches in his throat at the sight before him. His hands drenched in thick, hot blood.

Slowly looking down at the baths water he struggles to breathe when he sees that the water was no longer water, but hot sticky crimson blood. All of a sudden decaying hands come out of the water grabbing at him and trying to pull him under the surface.

Allanon awakes to a blood-curdling scream coming from the bathroom. 

A quick glance to the empty bed had him wide awake as he ran towards the bathroom, power surging in his hands, ready to fight off whoever was attacking the King.

As soon as he rushes into the bathroom, he frantically looks around. Confused he saw no one. Allanon looks down at Ander, who was in the bath desperately trying to fight off whatever he was seeing.

Ander was attempting to pull himself to the surface of the water; bubbles were rising to the surface as Ander continued to fight something invisible to breach the surface for air that he so badly needs.

Allanon quickly moves into action and reaches into the large bath, grabbing Ander by his biceps. With one pull he had the trembling king out of the tub, wrapped in a gown and encased in his arms as Ander tried wildly to catch his breath.

Ander was hacking up bits of water as he fought for breath. He clutches onto Allanon's shirt tightly with his fist, scrunching up the fabric as his body was shaking violently. Ander eyed the bath as if it was the worst thing in his life. His eyes remained full of terror and hot tears.

Allanon rocks Ander back and forth slowly as he rubs one hand up and down the Kings back, the other hand wraps around Ander's waist holding him still. 

"Shh, you're okay, there's no one here, and no one's going to hurt you, everything's okay. It's just you and me here."

After a while, Ander brings himself to match Allanon's breathing and finally he was calm enough to speak. 

"So much blood. There was so much blood, I was covered in it Allanon, then there were these decaying hands that kept pulling me under and I couldn't breathe. God, I couldn't breathe.

They just wouldn't let me go no matter how hard I fought" he cries out as he hugs closer seeking the warmth that was permeating off Allanon like a heater.

Allanon reluctantly leaves the bathroom once Ander had insisted he was fine now. Allanon carefully makes his way over to the centre of Ander's room taking in the mess. 

Sighing softly Allanon moved towards the door to wave in a few servants to get the room back into order.

Ander soon exits the bathroom to find his room tidy, as if his breakdown never happened. Ander turns and sees Allanon staring out the window he had his drinking bender only a few hours earlier. 

Ander comes to a stop beside Allanon. Standing beside Allanon, Ander to stares out the window across the four lands.

"I should probably go check in with Kale and the rest of the council, see if she still has plans of overruling the drunken stupor of a King" Ander states in a self-depreciating laugh. 

Allanon eyes Ander from the corner of his vision "Don't think of yourself like that Ander. You've gone through things most of the inhabitants of the four lands couldn't understand and yet here you stand, alive." Allanon murmurs.

Looking at Ander fully now he finishes with "You're stronger than you give yourself credit for".

Ander peeks at Allanon "Thanks, I guess…" he shrugs minutely with a small smile. 

Ander exited his room and made his way through the kingdoms halls until he finally reaches the quarters where Kale and the council were all surrounding the table discussing matters at hand.

Ander stalks over and takes his seat, blatantly ignoring the glare from Kale that followed him from the door to his place at the head of the table. 

"Welcome back, King Ander" the council greets in Unison. Ander gives a respective nod in their direction before crossing his fingers and trying to hold himself together.


	2. Chapter Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, I've been super busy but I hope you enjoy!

Ander had tried his best to be present and aware during the meeting, but his mind just couldn’t stay concentrated on what was going on in front of him. There was this annoying little pain in the back of his head that just wouldn't go away.

Ander let out a frustrated sigh, massaging his temple to soothe the pain as much as he could. He looks up when he notices everyone getting up. "I wrote down what we were discussing before you came in King Ander" Jeff, one of the council members announces politely.

"Thank you, I'll read it over shortly" Ander smiles, wincing softly at the sharp niggling pain in his head. Jeff nods respectively at Ander as he makes his way out of the quarters. 

The rest of the council, excluding Kale, bid their goodbyes. Ander nods in their general direction. Once they've left Ander finally lets his mask drop. 

His eyes water because the pain is growing steadily. 'It must be the hangover' Ander thinks idly about his headache as he gets to his feet, grabbing the notes Jeff had written for him.

Ander allows himself five minutes to get himself together. When he finally deems himself respectable, he gets up and heads out of the quarters to make his way back to his room.

Ander knew he should probably stop to get something to eat, but he just didn't feel like eating anything these past few days. Who would, after having lost all their family. 

Ander avoided everyone on his way to his room. He wasn't trying to be rude he just really wasn't up to talking to anybody. Especially if it meant having to look at their sympathetic gazes. No thanks, not if he could avoid it.

Ander eventually reached his bedchamber. Walking in he's about halfway across the room when the pain in the back of his head becomes unbearable. Gasping out in pain he drops to his knees, gripping his head in his hands.

The pain had escalated from being painful to downright excruciating and intolerable. Ander's eyes watered as he held back the scream that was crawling its way up his throat.

Ander's breathing became laboured as he struggles to get air into his lungs, fighting against the agony. 

"Don't fight me." 

Ander flinches when he hears a voice coming from somewhere in the close vicinity. The agony inside his head gets worse to the point where he's lying on his back, clutching his head tightly. Choking on the pain.

Ander is officially convulsing on the floor. The only sound coming from him is sharp groans of pain. 

"Let me in my beautiful boy, don't fight me. You'll only make it worse for yourself."

Ander clenches his jaw and closes his eyes trying to block the dark, husky voice from his ears. "Leave me alone!" He manages to choke out against the torture happening inside his brain. 

After laying on the floor trembling and convulsing in pain for ten minutes, the pain finally begins to dissipate and become manageable, but it doesn't disappear completely. 

Laying on the floor trying to catch his breath, he feels something warm leaking from his ears and with a quick swipe of his finger that comes back red. Ander slowly gets up to head to the bathroom.

Ander stumbles towards the mirror to look at himself; he's a mess.  
Hair dish shelved. Eye's bloodshot and tear streaked cheeks with blood coming out of his ears.

Ander panics, quickly turning the basin on. He cups his hands under the running water before splashing his face. He continues to wash his face as well as the blood from his ears that has finally stopped.

Looking back at his appearance he deems himself acceptable enough to pass as if nothing had happened after he fixed his hair.

Walking back out of the bathroom he picks up the notes that had been discarded during...well whatever that was. 

Ander lays down in the middle of his bed facing the door, crossing his ankles before putting his focus on the notes Jeff has put together for him. Not even half way through the notes and Ander was already regretting agreeing to become King.

A King's responsibilities were a lot. Huffing quietly to himself Ander rolls over and picks up his pen and paper to jot down solutions to these problems.

Which would have been helpful, if he had any idea of what he was actually supposed to do to fix these problems! Groaning in frustration Ander lobs the pen across the room at the door, which just happens to be the moment Allanon opened his door.

Allanon looks down at his chest as the pen makes contact, before glancing at an embarrassed and flustered Ander on the bed. Leaning down he picks up the pen, shutting the door behind himself as he makes his way over to the bed.

"May I?" Allanon asks gesturing to the edge of the bed. Blushing softly "Yeah, sure" Ander nods quickly, scooting over to make more room.  
Settling down in a seating position, Allanon makes himself comfortable before he gives his full attention to Ander, who was watching him.

"What did the poor little pen do to you?" Allanon jokes, fiddling with the pen as he quickly gives Ander a once over to make sure he's okay before deeming him alright.

Huffing Ander shoves the notes towards Allanon "I have no idea what I'm doing" he groans hiding his face behind his hands. 

Allanon smiles at the youthful act of annoyance Ander does before shifting his attention to the neatly written notes. Scanning the paper he nods to himself as Ander watched through his fingers. 

"Don't stress yourself, Ander, you'll get used to this kind of stuff after awhile and don't worry I have a few solutions to these," Allanon informs, jotting down his ideas on the paper beside Ander.

Rolling onto his back, Ander looks up at the roof. His head protests the movement, but he ignores the uncomfortable pain. "I should already know how to do this stuff Allanon. Arion wasn't king yet, and he already helped father with this kind of thing" Ander exhales, biting his lip.

"That's because he was being groomed to become the next King" Allanon states. Ander grows slumber at this "Yeah and then I ripped that opportunity away from his along with his life" he grunts rolling onto his stomach to hide his face between his arms.

Allanon sighs softly, leaning forward slightly he puts a hand in the middle of Ander's back that was shaking softly in time with the sniffles coming from the young elf.

"I don't know how many times I'll have to tell you that it wasn't your fault, but I'll continue to do so until you believe me" he soothes, rubbing his hand in slow circles.

Ander relaxes under Allanon's soothing movements. Breathing into his arms he manages to mutter softly.

"I just wish I could turn back time, I'd do so much differently. I'd protect my family with my life. Even if it meant losing mine."

Allanon sucks in a breath "Don't talk like that Ander, everything happens for a reason. Although we may not like the way certain things play out we have to understand this was their path."

Ander peaks out from under his arms to stare at Allanon skeptically. 

Allanon huffs an amused breath of air. "It sounds dumb, I know. But that's just what I was taught over the years. We have to accept and move on." 

"But what if I don't want to accept it and just move on, I did this. The sooner you realise that, the sooner you'll come to your senses and just leave me here. I'm not worth the dirt on your boots" Ander states.

Allanon shakes his head exasperation. 

"I'm not going anywhere Ander, now let's just focus on other matters at hand. Let's start with the treaty with the Gnomes, shall we? Okay so I have a few ideas" and that's how they spent the next two hours.

Half way through the second hour Ander had, had enough of the discussion. 

"That's enough for today, I can't physically take anymore!" Ander whines rolling away from the papers and responsibilities. 

It's those small acts that remind Allanon of just how young Ander really is. Ander was only four years older than Amberle, who was only nineteen. 

Twenty-three. Ander has gone through things people have gone their whole lives without experiencing, and he was only Twenty-three years old. 

Ander could feel the pain building in the back of his head again, and the last thing he wanted was for Allanon to know. Ander quickly sits up and glances at Allanon. 

"I'm feeling pretty tired, you should probably go" Ander announces, fake yawning to make it seem more believable. 

Allanon stares at him for a few seconds. "Are you okay"?

"Yeah, I'm just drained from of all this" with a wave of a hand Ander gestures to everything. 

Allanon doesn't believe Ander, but he gets up to leave anyway, heading to the door he looks over his shoulder to stare pointedly at Ander, who's grimacing slightly.

"I'll be here if you need me. You can always tell me anything" and with that, Allanon leaves shutting the door behind himself.

Ander slumps down in the bed in pain, biting his lip to the point where it draws blood. Clawing at his head he whimpers, twisting and turning in the sheets.

"Stop fighting me, let me in and all the pain will disappear my boy" and there's the voice again. Ander groans trying to fight the pain.

"Tst, Tst if that's how you want to play then let's play" the dark voice muses.

If Ander thought the pain from his head was bad, then the pain that started now was downright unbearable. 

Pain is suddenly encasing his whole body in an iron tight grip. His back arches and twists off the bed as the pain grows at a rapid pace. Ander quickly grabs a pillow and bites down on it so no one will hear his screams.

Ander screams into the pillow, hot tears pouring from his eyes. The searing pain fills like there is acid, rushing through his veins burning him from the inside out. 

Ander claws at his chest before fisting the blankets in a death grip. "Stop, please. Whoever's doing this, please stop!" Ander sobs into the pillow. 

"Let me in and it'll all go away" the voice murmurs...It sounds like it's coming from right beside him. Ander shakes his head not willing to give into whatever this thing was. "Never" he manages to choke out.

And with that, the pain amplifies as the voice chuckles darkly "I like a challenge".

Ander's body can't handle the pain any longer so he passes out from the pain.


	3. Chapter Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise that's its kind of a short chapter, I've been busy painting one of my HSC body of works, and I've had a dentist appointment. I hope you lovely people enjoy. 
> 
> Please leave me some feedback and any suggestions on what you guys would like to see go down in this fic too :)

Ander groggily blinks his eyes open, letting them adjust from where he was still lying on the marble floor of his bedchamber.

Groaning, Ander sits up massaging his temple in slow circular motions. He sits there for a few moments trying to make sense of what the hell is going on. Who is doing this to him and why?

Ander carefully gets up from the floor making sure not to move too quickly, the last thing he needs is to hurt his already aching body further. 

His body was a constant dull ache, and it was paying its toll on Ander. How was he supposed to deal with this new problem when he was still struggling with what happened within the recent events of losing everyone he held dear to his heart. 

Exhaling, Ander gets up and heads towards the bathroom to have a long hot shower to relax his aching muscles. Ander strips off and climbs in the shower, standing under the hot stream of water in content.

Ander leans his arms against the wall and lets his head drop between his arms tiredly. He looks down at the water running down the drain, and clenches his jaw, closing his eyes to fight back the tears.

Small noises of anguish try fighting their way out, but he chokes them back as best as he can. Suddenly his mind is overcome with flashes of when everything was better back before everything happened.

He remembers when he was eleven, and he had begged his father to let him go exploring in the woods. His father had been adamant that Ander wasn't allowed to go because it was too dangerous.

Ander has always been rebellious and reckless since he was a child. It wasn't his fault per say; it was just the true adventurer in him; he wanted to see the world.

So that night he had gone to bed early so he could wake up extra early to go exploring. He waited until his family was asleep before he snuck his way through the kingdoms halls, making his way outside, setting off into the forest.

Unbeknownst to Ander, Aine and Arion had been awake. They had seen their little brother sneaking down the halls and decided to follow him because they knew where he was heading off too.

They had caught up to him quickly, and Ander had been angry saying he wasn't going back until he got to explore a bit of the forest. The older brothers had relented, and they made a deal. They would show Ander some of the best parts of the woods if they left before it was nightfall.

That day had been one of the best days Ander had ever experienced.

And now he would never get to spend another day with his family again because he had caused all of their deaths.

He jumps when it's like he is back in the bath again because the water all of a sudden turns to thick blood. Ander panics and starts scrubbing his skin roughly to get the blood off.

He doesn't realise that by rubbing his skin so hard, he's made himself bleed from the roughness. 

All of a sudden the water turns normal again, and it's like blood wasn't just pouring from the shower head at all.

Ander can't fight back the sobs anymore; his knees give out, and he slides down the wall of the shower until he's sitting on the floor with his head between his knees, body shaking from the force of his cries.

Allanon walks down the halls heading towards Ander's chambers so he could check in on the young King because he was acting strange last night. Allanon hadn't got much sleep the previous night because he was worried about the young elf.

Allanon comes to a stop in front of Ander's door. He raps his knuckles against the door but can't hear a reply, he reaches down and twists the door handle open before stepping over the threshold and into his bedchamber.

Allanon stops halfway in and glances around seeing the large, spacious chamber empty. He starts walking again and heads further inside; that's when he hears the sound of the shower running.

Allanon heads over to the bathroom door, pausing in his step when he hears the broken sobs coming from behind the door. Allanon exhales soundlessly and slowly pushes it open after announcing that he was coming in.

The sight that greets him is something he hopes he never sees again, but Allanon knows that he most likely will.

Inside the bathroom, Ander sits hunched over his knees under the spray of the water, clutching his knees rocking back and forth, choking on the harsh sobs that leave his body.

Allanon calmly makes his way over to Ander, careful not to spook the young elf, coming to a stop in front of Ander, who hasn't acknowledged him yet.

Allanon doesn't even think twice before he slowly sits down beside Ander in the shower, his side leaning against Ander's in a sign of comfort, just out of the sprays reach. Allanon can feel the trembles coming from his body as Ander rocks and sways back and forth. 

All of a sudden Ander reaches over and grasps Allanons arms weakly as he leans his head against his shoulder, still crying. Allanon doesn't speak; he just waits until Ander's ready to talk.

Ander's quiet for a few minutes before he finally speaks.

"It's like their blood's on my hands, and I can't wash it off. It's not coming off! No matter how hard I scrub" Its then that Allanon notices all the abrasions on Ander's body from rubbing too hard.

"Let me see" and with that, he carefully grabs Ander's hand bringing it in front of him to inspect the damage done. 

Ander huddles closer to Allanon seeking warmth; he doesn't care about the fact that he's naked he just wants the comfort only Allanon can supply.

With both hands, Allanon inspects Ander's abrasions. Cradling Ander's hand gently, he brings it up to his lips and places a gentle kiss on the palm of his hand before doing the same to his fingers.

Ander closes his sore, bloodshot, eyes and sighs contently, curling his soft fingers around Allanon's calloused ones. 

"Thank you for being here" Ander whispers into Allanon's arm tiredly. Allanon smiles and rubs his thumb across Ander's hand gently. He notices that the water has gone cold, and Ander is shivering.

"Are you cold?" he asks, already knowing the answer. 

Ander moves closer, "yes" he nods weakly. Allanon reaches up and turns the water off before getting to his feet. He quickly grabs a soft towel, wrapping it around Ander's shivering, drenched body, before leaning down and picking Ander up bride style.

Ander huddles closer to Allanon's chest; his wet hair tickles Allanon's cheek from where it leans. Allanon drys Ander off and hands him a pair of pyjama shorts to put on before tucking him under the quilt of his bed. 

Allanon sits on the bed beside Ander, who just stares at him sleepily "Thank you for being here for me Al, I don't know what I'd do if you weren't" Ander thanks him tiredly with a small yawn.

Allanon leans over and cards his fingers through Ander's soft hair, who sighs contently leaning into the touch. Allanon continues to card his fingers through Ander's hair, lulling the young elf to sleep.

When Allanon is satisfied that Ander is asleep, he carefully gets up off the bed, kissing Ander on the forehead he turns to leave but he feels a hand wrap around his wrist stopping him.

Glancing back at the bed he sees Ander blinking at him owlishly, "Stay, please" he begs, moving over to make room for Allanon in the large bed.

Allanon blinks at him for a second before nodding. He pulls off his robe until he's left in his underwear and climbs under the covers where Ander is quick to huddle into his warmth. 

Allanon gets's comfortable and is about to close his eyes to go to sleep when he feels something heavy and warm on his chest, he opens his eyes and looks down to see Ander has laid his head on his chest with an arm around his waist fast asleep. 

Allanon wakes up to the soft sounds of a struggle and the shifting of a body beside him. He groggily opens his eyes and glances at Ander, who has gotten twisted in the sheets. 

Ander starts shifting from side to side, back arching. "No, no, no!" Ander mumbles shaking his head vigorously. His body starts to break out in a cold sweat, as he fist's the bed sheets tight in his hand.

Allanon carefully lays a hand on Ander's shoulder, shaking it gently. "Ander, it's okay, you're okay. Come on wake up. You're alright Ander" Allanon coos.

Ander shoots up from the bed into a seating position breathing heavily. He quickly turns when he feels movement next to him, letting out a breath Ander didn't know he was holding, relaxing when he sees Allanon's concerned face.

"Are you alright?" Allanon asks. 

"Yeah I'm okay, just a bad nightmare" Ander breathes out. He flops back down beside Allanon, turning and resting on his arm to look at Allanon. 

Running one hand through his sweaty hair, he exhales before continuing.

"I don't understand why this all happened. It's crazy to think that just a month ago everything was normal, Dad was alive. Arion was getting groomed to be King, and he was happy with Diana. And I was training Amberle to be one of the Chosen" Ander bites his lip to fight back the never ending tears. 

Allanon nods, understanding where Ander is coming from, "These things happen, we may not like that they do, but there's nothing that can change the past. The only thing we can do to move on is to become the best person you can be; that would make your family proud".

Ander nods "It doesn't make it any easier though" he sighs pinching the bridge of his nose. Allanon reaches up and grasps Ander's hand in his own pulling it away from his face.

Ander looks down at their hands, and before Allanon can pull away, he entwines their fingers together. "This feels right" he mumbles, glancing into Allanon's dark brown eyes.

Allanon smiles, squeezing Ander's hand gently. For once in his long life, he feels home.

"It does."


	4. Author's Notice

Hi guys, I'm sorry i haven't uploaded any chapters as of late but a few things have happened since my last update. My laptop that had all my works in progress broke for some reason which means I lost all the chapters I had written in advance for a few of my works. 

My mother also brought me a Siberian Husky puppy for my birthday, and if anyone knows what Huskies are like then you will probably understand that I have had little to no time to even consider writing any more chapters because Kai is a little demon and I can't leave him unoccupied otherwise my house looks like a hurricane just went through and he's on a strict training schedule.

I hope to buy another laptop in the next few weeks so I can begin to write what I unfortunately lost so please bare with me. 

Sincerely Bodhi. Xx


	5. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's a short chapter and I haven't updated in a long time and I just want to apologise. Hope you enjoy :)

When Allanon wakes up the following morning, it's to a cold, empty bed. At first, he thinks the worst, that Ander has had another fear-induced hallucination. He quickly stands up and gets dressed after using the bathroom. 

Walking out of Ander's chamber he keeps his eyes peeled for the troubled young king. After walking the halls for ten minutes, he finally spots Ander, who is at the end of the hall talking to some of the elven guards. Allanon pauses to lean against the wall to observe Ander.

Ander looks healthy and normal to those who haven't witnessed what he's been dealing with behind doors since the war between races. But Allanon, well he knows Ander. 

From here Allanon notices the way Ander stiffens slightly when one of the guards touch his arm in a friendly gesture or how his smile and laughter just don't quite reach his eyes. Allanon knows Ander's putting on a brave face.

Ander turns slightly and spots Allanon watching him from down the hall. He quickly excuses himself and starts in the direction of Allanon. Ander comes to a stop in front of Allanon.

"How are you feeling?" Allanon asks tilting his head slightly. Ander shrugs, chewing his lip slightly. "Fine" Ander lies, but with a raised eyebrow and a knowing look from Allanon, he drops the facade knowing he can't lie to Allanon.

"Well, I'm trying to be fine. It's just everywhere I look there are memories I don't want to remember because they're too painful. This place used to be my home now it's just a walking reminder that it's now my own hell and I can't escape the pain" Ander chokes on the last few words biting back the stinging of tears.

Allanon looks around before placing his hand on Ander's arm, rubbing soothing circles into the warm flesh. Ander relaxes slightly under Allanon's calming touch. Ander runs a shaky hand over his face then through his unruly curls.

"I hate this. I hate this so much!" Ander grounds out pulling away from Allanon slightly to wrap his arms around his chest protectively. 

Allanon sighs and hauls Ander into a warm hug, tightening his arms around Ander's slim waist. "I know it's hard Ander, but we'll get through this together, okay?".

Ander sighs against Allanon's neck, nodding slightly. 

"Okay".

A few hours later found Ander sitting on the edge of the elven forest next to his favourite lake where he used to visit when he needed to clear his head.

Ander looks down at his lap and fiddles with his hands before tilting his head up to look at the darkening sky that was beginning to become littered with thousands of stars.

Even after all he's been through these past few weeks, the stars were the one thing that could take his mind off of everything that has happened recently.

Ander sits there quietly for quite some time. 

The wind had slowly begun to pick up the pace within time, and there were now leaves blowing carefree in the wind. Ander smiles softly and trails after the leaves with his eyes. One leaf, in particular, catches his attention because it was black and looked out of place.

Frowning Ander stands up and slowly trails after the leaf not realising that he was leaving the safety of the elven grounds and venturing further into the forest.

Ander follows the leaf's path for a few minutes before it comes to a fluttering stop in a dark opening surrounded by trees. Ander bites his lip anxiously as he bends down to pick up the leaf.

As Ander reaches for the leaf and just as his fingertips touch the leaf, a dreaded cold feeling washes over him as the wind picks up its pace.

All of a sudden he feels something behind him and the hairs on the back of his neck stand up as his back goes rigid with fear, and shaky breaths leave his body, leaving him trembling. 

"Hello, my boy" a dark, deep voice sneers from behind him. 

Ander clenches his eyes shut and trembles from where he's kneeling on the ground. 

"No, no, no. You're not real...you're not real!" Ander chants under his breath. The body behind him moves closer causing Ander to stiffen even more.

The mystery person begins to slowly circle Ander tauntingly, but Ander refuses to open his eyes. 

"Oh but I am" the voice whisper's in Ander's ear, all of a sudden leaning against Ander's back trailing a cold hand down his chest. Ander flinches away from the unwanted touch.

"This isn't real! This isn't real, I'm alone, this is all in my head!" Ander grits out between his fear-induced clenched teeth. 

"I know what you crave my dear boy...what you fear" a clawed finger trails it's way down Ander's cheek before coming to a stop under his chin tilting his head up. 

Ander stiffens.

"Will you be able to live with what I'm going to make you do...with what I'm going to do to you? But either way, you're mine." and with that Ander's eyes shoot open, and his blood runs cold with what he sees in front of him.

A tall figure in black armour dripping with blood stands above him with glowing red eyes, leering down at him. Ander tries to jerk back, but his jaw is grabbed in a painful grip as he's pulled to his feet.

Ander's hands come up and try to pry the firm iron hand from his jaw, but it's hopeless. He's too weak.

"You're mine to do with as I please" It sneers, and with that, it leans down and forces its disgusting tongue down his throat. Ander tries to pull back, doubling his attempts when he feels a thick burning substance slide down his throat. His efforts are fruitless. 

Before he knows it, it's gone, and Ander is crumbling to the floor into a fetal position. He grabs his hair between his fingers and pulls harshly, choking on the sob that rips free from his chest.

Suddenly Ander arches on his back as the feeling of acid runs through his veins. His mouth opens in a silent scream, as his body convulses on the ground. Ander's fingers curl in the wet dirt searching aimlessly for an escape from the excruciating pain running through every inch of his being.

Body still convulsing Ander heaves for air his lungs are aching for but he just can't seem to get. Ander arches once more until his eyes roll to the back of his head, unconscious but not before they bleed black.


	6. Chapter 5

The sun was beginning to set, and Allanon had not seen Ander since this morning, and the shape he has recently been in, it was only reasonable that Allanon was feeling worried.

Allanon proceeded to ask any of the elven folk if they had seen the King and all the replies were the same, "Not since this morning".

Allanon was reaching the limit of his calm facade when he finally stumbles into someone who has any helpful information.

"I saw King Ander by the forest this morning, sir. It looked like he could use some space. Is there a problem?" Marianne asks concern lacing her soft voice.

Allanon smiles, albeit tightly "No, there's no problem. I just have some important matters to discuss with the King. Thank you for your help." And with that Allanon takes off in the direction of the edge of the forest.

When he reaches the edge of the woods, he sees footprints leading into the dark forest.

"Damn it Ander" Allanon swears softly, following the footsteps.

Allanon has been following the footsteps for around an hour before they finally lead him into a small dark, eery clearing. Allanon looks around the clearing before his eyes land on a huddled figure in the middle of the clearing.

Allanon quickly rushes over to Ander's trembling body, falling to his knees behind him. Allanon pulls Ander into his chest so he can quickly wrap his arms around his frame.

"Ander, It's me, Allanon. You're safe now" in his ear, but Ander remains unresponsive, just staring off into the distance of the dark woods shaking.

Allanon reaches down and grabs Ander's hand and almost drops it in surprise. His hands are like ice.

Allanon puts that to the back of his mind for now and turns him around carefully so that their face to face.

Allanon brings Ander's hand up and places it on his chest where his heart is.

"Feel that, focus on it, Ander. I'm here okay. Everything is alright" Allanon addresses Ander who is staring blankly at Allanon but not seeing him.

Slowly after what seems like forever, Ander's eyes begin to regain focus, and they slowly fall down to land on his hand against Allanon's chest. A few minutes later he glances up at Allanon in confusion "What happened? And why are we in the woods?" Ander questions, brows furrowing.

"I was hoping you'd be able to tell me that." Allanon sighs.

They sit in silence for a while before Ander breaks the silence. "I want to go home".

Allanon nods and helps him to his feet. The walk back to the eleven Kingdom has Ander walking quietly and Allanon on guard, surveying the woods around them with a careful eye for threats.

They make it back to Ander's quarters with only a few elves sending them concerned glances, but no one attempts to stop them.

Opening the doors, Allanon leads Ander to his bed and helping him under the soft covers.

"Get some sleep, I'll be close by, but I have to run some errands for a bit. I'll be back before you know it" Allanon smiles softly at the sleepy-eyed King.

Ander nods, hiding the fact that he almost reaches out to grab Allanon's wrist and beg him not to leave him alone. But he pushes that back and just nods instead.

Allanon takes that as his cue and leaves, shutting the door behind him softly leaving Ander alone.

Ander releases the breath he didn't know he was holding. He shuffles around trying to get comfortable before relaxing back into the soft mattress tugging his pillow closer.

"What's happening to me?" Ander whispers to himself before falling asleep.

Several hours later Ander slowly blinks awake. He sits up rubbing his hands over his face, feeling the discomfort low in his bladder, grunting tiredly his bare feet hit the cold stone floor, making his way towards the bathroom to relieve himself.

Ander heads over to the toilet and relieves his bladder, still trying to wake himself up fully. Once he's finished relieving himself, he ambles over towards the sink and washes his hands.

Ander places his hands on either side of the sink, looking at his reflection in the mirror. He sighs at his appearance; he looks pale with dark rings under his eyes. Certainly not how a King is supposed to look.

Ander blows out a breath, leaning down, cupping his hands under the running tap, splashing his face with some the cold water before running his hands down his face.

Standing back up, he looks in the mirror only to jump back in surprise when he sees his own black eyes staring back at him. Ander blinks and when he opens his eyes their blue again.

Ander looks around the bathroom quickly before landing back on himself, but his eyes are still blue. He shakes himself out of it before running the hand towel across his face, looking at his reflection.

"Trick of the mind" Ander mumbles before turning towards the door.

Just as Ander is about to leave the bathroom a bang from behind him stops him from moving. He slowly makes his way back into the centre of the bathroom looking around for the source of the noise. When he sees nothing, he shrugs, about to leave again when another loud resounding bang happens again.

Jumping back with a gasp he calls out "Hello?" but gets no reply, even though he wasn't expecting there to be one in the first place.

All of a sudden all the walls begin to turn black with decay, and the stone begins to crack and crumble away. Ander steps back, watching in mute horror as the toilet starts to overflow with crimson blood.

Within seconds the stone floor is covered in blood that still pours from the toilet. Ander can only watch in terror as letters begin carving into the rapidly decaying stone wall 'ANDER' it reads.

Ander heaves a breath in when the mirrors around him shatter sending sharp shards of glass everywhere, one slicing him across the cheek in the process.

Ander clenches his eyes shut attempting to block out what was happening around him. His ears perk up when he hears wet slaps of many sets of footsteps slowly heading towards him.

Ander clutches his ears to block out the sound while he chants "This isn't real!" over and over again, as he takes steps back only to come to a stop when the small of his back hits the sink forcing his flee to come to a halt.

When the footsteps come to a stop around him, he clenches his eyes shut tighter.

Warm, stale, foul air suddenly blows across his face causing every muscle in his body to seize until he's frozen in fear where he stands.

Ander forces himself to slowly open his eyes to see what's in front of him even though every fibre in his body is screaming in protest.

Ander's blood freezes when his eyes focus on the figures in front of him "No, this isn't real. Please, no."

Around him stand the decayed bodies of everyone he's lost that was close to him. Aine, his mother, his father, Arion, Diana and Amberle.   
And they were all looking at him with accusation in their eyes.

Suddenly they were all reaching towards him, skin sliding off their bones from decay. Ander freaks and grabs a shard of glass from the broken mirror and swings it towards the bodies in front of him.

And then it's like nothing ever happened, the room goes back to normal, and nothing is out of place. The decomposed bodies of Ander's loved ones are gone. He looks down at his hand and sees no shard of glass, turning he looks at the mirrors and sees that they are all intact.

Ander sinks to his knees and grabs a fist full of his hair, pulling hard. "What is happening to me, WHY!?" he yells out, the sound of his anguished cry resonates around the bathroom as silent tears run down his cheeks "Why?" he asks, quietly this time.

No one answers.

Not wanting Allanon to come back and see him in this state he vows to keep this to himself. The last thing he wants right now is for Allanon to see how weak and pathetic he's gotten recently.

Ander quickly splashes water on his face and leaves the bathroom not wanting to stay in there any longer than necessary now after that episode he just experienced.

Ander quickly made the bed and changed into some clean clothes before heading over to the window sill that overlooks a part of the Kingdom.

Sitting down, he runs a hand through his hair, making it semi-acceptable.

"It was just a hallucination, a trick of the mind" Ander mumbles to himself, biting his lip to hold off the tears when his throat becomes tight.

Allanon knocks on Ander's door and hears the soft call of "Come in" from inside the quarters.

Allanon steps inside and closes the door behind him. Looking around the clean bedroom, he is pleasantly surprised to see Ander sitting calmly on the window look out reading a book silently.

Ander folds the corner of the page he was pretending to read before closing it and setting it down beside him. He turns slightly towards Allanon with a soft smile, patting the spot beside him, gesturing for Allanon to join him.

Allanon feels a warmth spread through his body, smiling he walks over and takes his place beside Ander.

Allanon looks out over the Kingdom before his eyes fall back on Ander who was also looking out the window.

"How was your sleep?" Allanon asks.

Ander turns his head towards Allanon with a carefully constructed facade and smiles softly. It was good. At least that part wasn't a lie. It was what happened after his sleep that wasn't good, but Allanon didn't need to hear about that.

Allanon releases a breath, "That's good to hear" he smiles, patting Ander's knee comfortingly.

Ander blushes at the contact, which doesn't go unnoticed by Allanon who's looking at him with such tenderness he doesn't deserve, so he quickly changes the subject to take the focus off himself.

"Did the errands go okay?" Ander asks, straightening his posture into a King's stance.

Allanon blinks at the change in Ander but goes along with the subject change not wanting to make Ander uncomfortable.

"Yeah, everything ran smoothly. It was just some stuff I needed to get done since Will left and the aftermath of the war" Allanon answers, taking notice of the flinch Ander tries to hide when he mentions the war.

"Well, I'm glad they ran smoothly. In fact, I should probably get up and see to my duties as...King" Ander halts slightly on the last word. He was never supposed to be King; it wasn't his destiny. It was something that was wrongly bestowed upon him after he robbed his brothers, and fathers life from them.

Blinking himself out of those thoughts, he calmly stands up and heads toward the dresser to find something more suitable for a King to wear.

Allanon breathes out a defeated sigh, twisting in his seat to look over at Ander who was pulling on his formal clothing. "It's late Ander. You should get back to sleep. Your duties of a King will still be there in the morning. You really should get some more sleep." Allanon sighs.

Ander glances over at Allanon as he straightens his jacket. "I've slept enough", and with that he heads out of his quarters, leaving a concerned Allanon to watch him move until the door clicks shut behind him blocking him from Allanon's view.

Allanon watches the door click shut behind Ander. He rubs his hands down his face, frustrated at himself for thinking that he was going to listen to him.

That boy could be stubborn as hell when he wanted to be.


	7. Important Notice

Hi, guys I know it's been a while since I last updated this fic, but don't worry I will finish it but right now I haven't been able to continue writing anything. I won't get too into detail, but I'll explain as much as I can to why I haven't updated or won't be for a while. 

2017, has been a terrible year as of late for my family and me. In February my mother went through a lot which ended up in me having to move into my father's out on his farm which is part of the reason I haven't been an active writer. This is mainly due to the fact I don't get much time to write because I'm always busy outside working, plus I recently started boot camp which is time-consuming but great :D. 

And in this past month, my Dad has been rushed to the hospital twice which has put a lot of stress and worry on my shoulders (He's okay now, thankfully).

There are a few other things too, but I won't get into them. 

I just wanted to let you know that yes I will be continuing this story, but it might not be for a while, so thank you for bearing with me and I will try and get something out for you guys <3

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave feedback because I love to hear what you guys think and a Kudos would be great too :D


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